Shabby Chic To Be Re-branded To Crap Old Tat.



Despite appearing like its being dredged from a polluted lake, Shabby Chic furniture and accessories have become extremely popular with tasteless cheapskate buffoons, and council estate home owners.

In an attempt to market a larger variety of even more battered looking shite, Shabby Chic is being launched with a brand new name and marketing campaign. Crap Old Tat will be launched this summer with a range which will include flood damaged wardrobes, bookshelves From charity shop skips, and fly-tipped chest of drawers.

The new range aimed at squalid bedsit tenants, and heroin addicts, will be launched with a new advertising campaign being fronted by Shania and Terry Cooper. The couple were selected because Crap Old Tat felt they reflected the face of of their target customers.


“At the interview, Terry was knocking seven shades of shit out of Shania, and she urinated over the office carpet. We knew we’d discovered our dream team”, said Oliver Conk, Marketing Director for Crap Old Tat.

“We knew the new campaign was a gamble, but research concluded that many people would buy any old rubbish if you put a brand name to it.”

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