Matthew Cash – Author, Potential Porn Star & Anti-Rimmer.

MattyFinished

Matthew Cash, or Matty-Bob Cash as he is known to most, was born and raised in in Suffolk; which is the setting for his forthcoming full length novel Pinprick which is due for publication with Knightswatch Press in 2016.
He has always written stories since he first learnt to write and most, although not all, tend to slip into the many layered murky depths of the Horror genre.
His influences ranged from when he first started reading to Present day are, to name but a small select few; Roald Dahl, James Herbert, Clive Barker, Stephen King, Stephen Laws, and more recently he enjoys and has what he refers to as a ‘major book-on’ for Adam Nevill, F.R Tallis, Michael Bray, William Meikle and Iain Rob Wright (who featured Matty-Bob in his famous A-Z of Horror title ‘M is For Matty-Bob’, plus Matthew wrote his own version of events which was included as a bonus).
He is a father of two and a husband of one, he’d happily have more but he doesn’t think his wife would be too happy.

mattybooks

You’ll find all of his amazing books at http://www.amazon.co.uk/Matthew-Cash/e/B010MQTWKK/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_2?qid=1460472377&sr=1-2

So without further ado here is the Q&A session i had with Matt.

(Darren)

What is your name, and age?

(Matt)

My name is Matthew Cash, but I occasionally go by the nickname Matty-Bob, Matt, Cunt or anything other insult, the more original the better, hurled in my direction.

I’m am as old as my nose and as young as my hose.  36! *Sighs*

(Darren)

How many books have you written or have been involved with?

(Matt)

I have around twelve releases on Kindle ranging from short stories through to novellas, collections and anthologies I am part of or edited. Death By Chocolate was recently released. My first attempt at compiling and putting together an anthology of my own idea with other writers submitting to me (sounds kinky).

JEApers Creepers, Rejected For Content 3 have three of my tales, including one of my own personal favourites, Clinton Reed’s Fat.

I’m due for a novel and novella release this year. My first novel Pinprick, and my first published novella, The Cat Came Back.

(Darren)

What is your main genre of story?

(Matt)

Horror mostly, but I just like the general overall weirdness in stories. I’m happy to keep my options open. Pinprick isn’t that horrific, not compared to some of my other stuff, but there are one or two really graphical horrific scenes in it.

I’ve touched on sci-fi but generally just go where the story takes me.

(Darren)

What are you writing at the moment?

(Matt)

I am writing what is likely to be a novel called  FUR, about werewolves. It’s a half-serious, half-humorous tale about a group of local OAPs… And werewolves. Think Still Game crossed with Attack The Block and American Werewolf in London.

(Darren)

Given a choice between drinking a shot glass of Keith Richards phlegm, and Katie Hopkins vaginal discharge, what would be your choice of tipple?

keithkatie

(Matt)

A cocktail of both. Hopefully the toxicities of both of the world’s most deadliest fluids known to man will either cancel one another out, or mutate and turn me into some kind of sexy superhero.

(Darren)

Which famous person’s bike seat would you like to sniff?

(Matt)

Without any hesitation I would say Lauren Cohen, Maggie from The Walking Dead.

cp2014_laurencohan_336

(Darren)

While perusing an adult website, you inadvertently launch a 50 Megaton nuclear bomb. You have but one choice. It won’t reach space so where would you aim it?

(Matt)

Knowing me I would probably aim it at the furthest, largest stretch of water away from me. Or Australia, purely for personal reasons involving an Aussie bank clerk I once ‘knew’. Sorry Australia (love you)

(Darren)

Which fellow author do you believe has the firmest buttocks?

(Matt)

I think Duncan Ralston, he looks as though he could crack a Brazil nut with his. I’d be more than happy to put that to the test and all!

rasltonbuttocks

**** Please note, i Googled Duncan Ralston Buttocks and this was one of the results. I cannot confirm the authenticity of this information, although they look familiar.****

(Darren)

Being such a major celebrity, the inevitable occurs. You are asked to perform a Xmas song as a duet. Who would you sing with, and what song would you choose?

(Matt)

Well I once, in a metal pub karaoke night, sung a metal version of Mistletoe and Wine. I’d like to do it with Katy Perry. As for the duet…umm Noddy Motherfucking Holder as it’s not actually Christmas without him.

noddy holder

**** Interesting, Googling Noddy Motherfucking Holder produced this photograph****

(Darren)

Is there a topic you’d never consider writing about?

(Matt)

I always said I’d never write about vampires or werewolves but I haven’t stuck to that. I don’t think there is a taboo subject, I like to challenge myself.

(Darren)

During a charity football match, raising money for endangered scampi, you see the opportunity for a two footed, leg snapping tackle on a fellow celebrity. Who would you like that to be?

(Matt)

I only partially understand this question as I’m clueless about most sports, but I do love scampi and would do anything to keep them being deep fried and fed into my fat cunt of a mouth. But if this tackle in question is particularly painful on the other person,  shredded shins etc, then it would have to be Lionel Richie as I hate that cunt.

lionel-richie

****Interestingly, Googling Lionel Richie Is A Cunt produced this photograph****

(Darren)

What song will be played at your funeral?

(Matt)

Don’t Fear The Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult. And I want to hire loads of hot women to cry and throw themselves at my coffin. It’ll make all the genuine hot women crying there jealous.

(Darren)

Which celebrity would you keep in your basement, and what entertainment would you provide?

(Matt)

Lauren Cohen and I would show her everything I know about sex, and after those thirty seconds were up I’d probably force her to watch a YouTube video of a Careless Whisper saxophone instrumental with just my smiling face on continuous repeat.

(Darren)

What is your favourite swearword?

(Matt)

The only one that still offends some people, Cunt. Other than that I like to get inventive. My pets get the really creative ones, when the kids aren’t listening, but I find I’m always calling my dog a ‘dirty fucking paedophile’.

cuntdestroyer

(Darren)

What would your rapper name be?

(Matt)

M-Boogie

mboogie

(Darren)

Which conspiracy theory do you think has some validity?

(Matt)

Anything governmental and alien related. Eric Idle once sung “I pray that there’s intelligent life somewhere out in space cuz there’s bugger all down here on Earth.”  And I second that, I hope that there is something to cover up.

stupidcunts

****Unsuprisingly, Googling Stupid Fucking Cunts revealed an abundance of Stupid Fucking Cunts. Eric Idle was so right!

(Darren)

If you could be a member of any band, past or present who would you be?

(Matt)

Rob Zombie!

rob-zombie-bloody

(Darren)

After a particular enthusiastic game of twister, you accidentally snap an opponent’s neck. What do you do with the body?

(Matt)

After playing with it for a bit and posing for some humorous Weekend At Bernie’s photos I’d probably try and eat it, although my freezer is kinda small, but I think my dog and cats would help.

(Darren)

Blue Pill or Red Pill?

(Matt)

Red, but only if they’re Smarties really.

(Darren)

What’s the meaning of life?

(Matt)

There is no meaning. We are all parasites infecting this planet.

(Darren)

Which topic is more important to you? Fracking, fisting, rimming or global warming?

(Matt)

What’s fracking?  I can’t be arsed to Google it. Fisting sounds painful and I may lose my watch or something. Rimming is a no go. No part of my mouth is venturing in the vicinity of poo. Global warming is gonna happen anyway, so I’ll go with the first… Even though I don’t know what it is and can’t be arsed to Google it.

frackingetc

(Darren)

Which celebrities head would you like to reverse a tractor over?

(Matt)

Brad Pitt, I hate his face.

BradPittFace9

**** Googling I Hate Brad Pitt’s Face revealed this gem.

(Darren)

Given a choice of the authors you have only in your Facebook friends list, who would you like to write a story with?

(Matt)

I’m too much in awe of the majority of them and am lucky enough to have the opportunities that I have had so far. Aside from the awesome authors I have stuff happening with already, I would be happy to write stuff with any of them if they deemed me worthy.

(Darren)

What is the scariest movie you have ever seen?

(Matt)

That’s a hard question. Not many for years and years. As a child The AMITYVILLE HORROR.

amityville-horror-294131

**** Dave Lee Travis & Lois Lane, the stars of the 1979 horror, The Amityville Horror.

(Darren)

What goes in your coffin with you?

(Matt)

Everyone and everything I have ever known or owned.

(Darren)

What is your perfect pizza?

(Matt)

A vegetarian deluxe with meatballs.

Thank you Matt for participating in my Q&A session.

4138442015

 **** Incidentally i Googled Matthew Cash, and apparently this isn’t him.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s