Dawn Cano – Queen Of Extreme

So without further ado here is the Q&A session i had with Dawn.

(Darren)

What is your name, and age?

(Dawn)

I’m old enough to know better and young enough not to care.

(Darren)

How many books have you written or have been part of?

(Dawn)

I’ve written three novelettes and am taking part in two anthologies to be released later this year.

(Darren)

What is your main genre of story?

(Dawn)

I write extreme horror with as much blood, gore, and sex as I can cram into the pages.

(Darren)

What are you writing at the moment?

(Dawn)

I’m currently working on two collaborations, one with Daryl Duncan, who also designs my book covers, and one with editor/author John Ledger. With that, I also have a solo novelette coming out at the end of April called Cash Out, about a man who gets paid to commit grisly murders.

(Darren)

Which famous person’s bike seat would you like to sniff?

(Dawn)

Chris Hemsworth, because – because he’s Chris Hemsworth. Have you seen him? Who wouldn’t want to sniff the seat that once held Thor’s arse?

(Darren)

Whether you are an atheist or religious, God appears to you while you are sat on the toilet. He tells you he will answer one question as he has other toilets to visit. What would that question be?

(Dawn)

“Ever heard of knocking?”

(Darren)

While perusing your favourite website, ‘www.limb-removal.com’ you inadvertently cause the entire human race to freeze like stone. What’s your next move?

(Dawn)

Remove Chris Hemsworth from his bicycle and sniff the seat.

**** It is said that variety is the spice of life. On that note, I found an alternative Chris Hemsworth, complete with his bicycle seat****

(Darren)

Which fellow author do you believe goes all ‘Travis Bickle’ in front of the mirror?

(Dawn)

 My co-author Daryl Duncan. He doesn’t know this, but I stand outside his bathroom window and watch him become Travis Bickle every night. Keep that between us, please.

(Darren)

What subject would you never consider writing about?

(Dawn)

Romance. I’m the least romantic person woman you’ll ever meet, so writing about love would be awkward for me and for my readers.

(Darren)

What song will be played at your funeral?

(Dawn)

Funeral? I won’t have a funeral because I’m immortal and will never die. If I were to die, I want the saddest song possible played at the funeral because I want to make people miserable and have them miss me because I’m so fucking awesome.

(Darren)

Which celebrity would you keep in your basement, and what entertainment would you provide?

(Dawn)

It’s no secret that I lock my co-author, Daryl Duncan, in my basement when he doesn’t write fast enough to suit me. I give him the occasional brown sauce sandwich and beer, but a celebrity wouldn’t receive the same fair treatment.  I would lock Chris Hemsworth in my basement and entertain him by throwing myself at him in an awkward and provocative way so he would laugh himself to death.

How you could treat Daryl like this is shocking. No magazines to read!

(Darren)

You’ve just had a beautiful Koi pond installed in your back garden, only to discover it’s got piranhas in it, instead of Koi. Your favourites Jeff, Milly, and Scum are looking hungry and need feeding. Which famous person would you invite round to be the main course?

(Dawn)

Kim Kardashian because her ass alone would feed the fish for a year.

I decided to invite a few of your other friends round to admire your now pond. Jeff, Mill, Scum, say hello, and goodbye to Katie Hopkins, Donald Trump, Sarah Palin, and Kanye West

(Darren)

What would your Serial Killer nickname be?

(Dawn)

D-Lite, of course.

(Darren)

Which conspiracy theory do you think has some validity?

(Dawn)

Twenty-five percent of the world’s population believes the planet is run by lizard people. I am convinced that Donald Trump is the leader of the lizard people.

(Darren)

During a particularly tense game of Backgammon, you accidentally disembowel your opponent with the dice cup. What do you do with the body?

(Dawn)

In my infinite wisdom, I would hide the body in the basement with Daryl Duncan and Chris Hemsworth so they know what I’m capable of when I wield my dice cup. I lead by intimidation.

(Darren)

Blue Pill or Red Pill?

(Dawn)

Since I don’t suffer from erectile dysfunction, I’ll opt for the red pill.

(Darren)

Which celebrity would you like to test your completed Judas Cradle on?

(Dawn)

Kanye West, Kim Kardashian, (Assuming my piranha don’t eat her first) Sarah Palin, Donald Trump, Katie Hopkins…the list is endless.

(Darren)

Given a choice of the authors you have only in your Facebook friends list, who would you like to write a story with?

(Dawn)

This is the toughest question you could ever ask me. I have so many amazingly talented authors on my friends list, it’s impossible to choose. Matt Shaw would be the first on my list since he gave me my start, and I still aspire to his level of success. Others include, Tonia Brown, Jaime Johnessee, Matt Hickman, Stuart Keane, Luke Smitherd, Jack Rollins, David Owain Hughes, Lex Jones, Kit Power, and so many others, I’d be here all day writing everyone’s names.

(Darren)

What is the creepiest movie you have ever seen?

(Dawn)

The Exorcist. The spider walk scene still creeps me out, and this film remains my favourite horror film of all time.

Not so scary now is it?

(Darren)

When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

(Dawn)

I wanted to be a nurse, doctor, or veterinarian when I grew up. My backup plan of course, was to become a writer, editor, and author living well below the poverty level, and I have achieved that goal. That’s right. I’m living the dream.

(Darren)

What goes in your coffin with you?

(Dawn)

Chris Hemsworth’s bicycle seat

(Darren)

What song in history has the ability to make you want to punch a baby chimp?

(Dawn)

Barbie Girl by Aqua. When this song comes on, I seek out baby chimps and if I can’t find any, I seek out babies and toddlers to punch.

(Darren)

What toppings go on your favourite pizza?

(Dawn)

You just had to ask this question when I’m hungry, didn’t you? Favourite toppings on a pizza include pepperoni, bacon, olives, jalapeños, and mushrooms. If you’ll excuse me, I have to go order a pizza now.

 

Thank you Dawn for your participation.

For your amusement & pleasure i offer more Kanya “CockSponge” West, Memes i created.

This one is titled “Because You Fucking Are”

This one is titled, “Everytime i think of Kim’s Back Door”

 

When asked how long Kim’s cock was, Kanye was proud to reveal.